This year has been as abundant as it has been tumultuous. As the world began to open back up after the pandemic, life began to move extremely fast. It swept me off my feet, and I am looking forward to much-needed time off during the holiday season to be able to catch my breath.

The ending of 2021 doesn’t just mark the ending of one year for me. It’s as if many years ended and began within this one; many seasons and years of change tangled together. It’s been difficult for me to sit down and write about this year; I have already worked so hard to leave it behind.

I have been pondering on what to write in this post for a while. It’s February now, and the calendar says it’s 2021, but in many ways it doesn’t feel like we have left 2020 behind.

It’s cliché to say that the year has been full of change and growth (are there ever any years that aren’t?), but 2019 was a big one. More than any other, it feels as if this year has been pivotal in building foundations for the future. It feels good to step forward into the new decade with the momentum of 2019—but it’s also terrifying.

I couldn’t find a word for this year, so I put it to my siblings and my mother. “What would you say the theme of this year has been for me?”. Resilience, they answered. I’ve sat with this for a little while, because I’m unsure if I agree; I didn’t feel resilient, brave or strong at all last year. I allowed myself to slide into a mental slump that I’m now finding difficult to climb my way out of.

When I sit down to write this post every December, it always takes me some time to collect myself and my memories of the year. When I write, I try to say what I mean, and mean what I say. Some things are often hard to put into words—and to write from a place of authenticity requires pause.

I never wanted to be one of those people who said “the year has gone by so fast!”, because well, of course it does, and it will do so every year. But the more time passes, the more I become startled by how much I seem to do within a year (which becomes all the more apparent every time I look back).

It's been five years since my first ever year-in-review post. I look forward to these every year, because it's another opportunity to reflect, and then take aim for the next 12 months and beyond.

Adventure; a thirst to be closer to nature; a ceaseless lust to see more of my city, my home, my world; saying yes to new things; exploring beyond what I believed I could do: all these things were my 2014.